Farewell O Love life: I've found a new Mistress

So if I haven't said so already, the life of a gradstudent is such that there is no time to love. If you had someone in your life before starting gradschool, say your goodbyes if they are nice enough to still stick around with you. If you started dating someone after starting gradschool, I have one thing to say to you.. HA HA.
Your work is your mistress by now I'm sure, and a cruel one at that. She lets you smile on occasion, but for most parts she is just a horny bitch who'll fuck you over and over till you're so sore that the fun in it would be lost forever.
So now that you've been scarred for life, here's the Plat for last week. (yeah my mistress didn't allow me to blog last week)
Plat #3: Do not come to graduate school if all you're looking for is a "Dr." in front of your name.
Hypo: You'll be better off at medschool, where you get to be a "real doc" and not just a "postdoc" that you'll be once you graduate. Also you'd make buckets of money rather than the crumbs at the bottom of an empty peanut packet that you would make the road you're taking. You've been WARNED. 

Ready, Set, Run for your life!!

So I started Marathon training this tuesday. Three days, and 14 miles later, my body's sore, my back is *skewed*, my legs are cramped etc etc, but my spirit's strong. People ask me which marathon I'm training for, and I say to them, as long as there's cancer in the world, there'll always be marathons, and hopefully I will always have a job (or rather, a PI).
I've never run before, and let's face it, I'm not getting any younger. So might as well do something now. (Think of it this way: while running I picture myself as the roadrunner, and the coyote a.k.a. the PI is running after me with his acme-inspired commentary on how abysmal my research proposal is.)
I know I said one a week, but meh! here's another one.

Plat#2: Its okay to not know about a global apocalypse if you are a gradstudent.
Hypo: Your PI is going to find you the next day anyway asking you about that draft or the grant or whatever it is that you've been putting off for a month. These PIs I tell you! *nodding-head-sagely*

Welcome to the lala land: Graduate School.

So this is my second quarter in grad school, and already I'm saying to myself, "What in the name of Darwin's underpants was I thinking?" Deprived of sleep, battling with coursework, working in a lab and wondering every second of everyday, why cervical dislocation is not so easy to perform on humans (there are a few people that I would not only enjoy putting in their place, but I think a gas chamber is just too humane for their indelible *sigh* persona.)

With hours that never seem to end, (no, not even on the weekends) and life that still hasn't started yet (according to the "working" class), I just wish I could SCREAM! *sigh, again* Instead I'm sitting in the library, too tired to be working for the exam I have this week, bitching about my bat-crap crazy life to who ever might listen. I have decided to come up with "platitudes" that relate to the life of a gradstudent, and will try posting one every week. I'm going to call them Plats, you can call them shit or BS or whatever it is that you fancy. And in true Gradschool Spirit, I'm going to provide you with a "hypo" hypothesis each time. You can refute it if you want, I don't really give a *ahem* fudge.

Plat#1:Veni vidi vici is just something you'll never hear from a gradstudent. 

Hypo Oh c'mon, if you're reading this you are, in all probability, a gradstudent, so you already know why. If you're not, then GOOD FOR YOU!